Co-parenting cheat sheet.
- BrightSide
- May 13
- 3 min read
Updated: Aug 14
The 5 tricks that will make your co-parenting life smoother.
Co-parenting is always awkward but never more so than during the holidays. Christmas, Easter, school holidays, and mothers and fathers day can be tricky but there are a few little tricks that can make things easier.
Co-parenting is the hardest part of relationship breakdown. It takes a whole lot of patience, the negotiation skills of Nelson Mandela, and an ability to bite your tongue when all you want to do is let the ex know exactly what you think of them. But this co-parenting cheat sheet and the 5 tricks below will make your life a whole lot easier.
1:Wait
There is nothing to be gained and everything to be lost if you reply when you are angry or frustrated. It is often hard to coordinate with your Ex and it can be maddening. So if you are angry, wait, respond in the morning or later in the day. It is the message you send in the heat of the moment that will achieve the least, cause the most trouble, and the one you will probably regret the most.
2: Quarantine communication
The way to get the worst out of someone is to dump something on them when they are not expecting it. We are all busier than ever so quarantine your communication. Set up a generic email or use a parenting app and only communicate that way. If you do that you can control the timing of your Ex communication. You wont get a request or a message while you are in the middle of a work crisis, or stuck in bad traffic, late for work, racing out the door, or arguing with the kids.
3: Tech is your friend
ChatGPT is a great way to draft a message to your ex if you don’t think you can bring yourself to write something civil. Ask ChatGPT to write a relatively polite message about something to do with the kids and you would be surprised how well it will do.
4: Get an App
There are quite a few apps designed to help co-parents. Along with a generic email, apps are a simple way to quarantine your Ex communication so that you can manage your interactions. Shared calendars, messaging, and even budgeting for the kids are some of the options these apps offer. And they are either free or a reasonable cost depending on the features you need.
5: Let's cut each other some slack
No-one is perfect but deep down you both want what’s best for the kids. If you can both remember that and try to be as co-operative as you can be, life will be a lot easier. Co-parenting is difficult but if you can treat your ex like you have to treat your co-workers there is probably a solution to be found for most problems.
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Co-parenting is hard work and it is easy to get bogged down in resentment, anger and recriminations but If you can use this co-parenting cheat sheet and apply these 5 simple tricks you can make your communication better which will go a whole lot of the way to making your co-parenting life better.
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Susan Hewitt is the Principal at Bright Side Family Law, a non-litigious family law and mediation practice. Susan has worked as a lawyer and journalist for almost 30 years. She is an accredited collaborative lawyer and FDRP mediator who is committed to helping families through their relationship breakdown in an honest, cooperative and respectful manner.